"be nice" is too often coded language for "don't make anyone uncomfortable" — but to be kind, we often need to have uncomfortable conversations.

Being Nice Vs being kind

Before reading Jason Lengstorf’s article I never perceived a difference between being nice and being kind. Remember that time when you came home after a dinner with some friends and noticed that salad leaf stuck in your teeth? Remember how mad at your friends you were for not telling you? After a few minutes you tempered and thought they were being nice because they didn’t want you to feel embarrassed. Yes they were nice, but they refused to be kind, putting their comfort first over your good. When you really care about the people you’re interacting with you can’t always avoid to have uncomfortable conversations. « Being nice is a betrayal of trust. » I agree with Jason, there is something dangerous in always wanting to be nice rather than being kind. The personal and work experiences Jason shares in his article are situations that could have happened to all of us, at least once. Trying to be nice all the time is avoiding difficult and uncomfortable conversations when frankness and honesty are required. Of course there are ways and means to say it right (your intentions can’t lie), but being kind is a sign of respect.